The Ugly Truth about "Brotherhood & Love"
Have you ever heard alot of us guys saying this, "兄弟如手足，女人如衣服。"?
Direct translation = Brothers are like our limbs while women are like clothes.
Losing your limbs & clothes, which one is worse?
Because of this saying that has been passed down for centuries, some/most guys developed a kind of thinking.
"If my brother likes the same gal who I like & if he tells me b4 I do, I shall give up & not go after the gal."
We've seen alot of dramas like these. Boy A & B likes gal. Boy A told B he likes gal. B gave up because of his brotherhood with A. But gal likes B. And sometimes, in the shows, B & gal meet up after sometime. Gal may alrd be married to A or someone else.
B said, "Actually, I'd like you back then."
Gal (in extreme cases, break down in tears), "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
"Because I didn't want to break my friendship with A & I didn't think that you would like me either." B replied.
I'd always tot if I was Boy B, that's really the way I shld handle this. Many years ago, I did the same thing twice. Upon knowing that my buddy likes the same gal as I do, I pulled myself out.
The 2nd case, gal called & asked, "Do you like me?".
"Why did you ask?" was my reply.
"I just want an honest answer." she demanded.
"It doesn't matter but A likes you." I said.
"Forget it." with that, she hanged up on me.
I didn't call back though I'd wanted to explain myself. However, at that point in time, I don't feel the need to. Brotherhood matters.
Many years later, I bumped into the gal. Had a small chat, talked abt the story that happened few years ago. Though we laugh it off in the end, I had to say there was a tinge of sadness. She said, she felt v.pek chey as it was obvious I like her & I was dumb to want to give her up to A just because A is my buddy & A likes her. What upsets her most was I didn't realize she likes me & not A.
She said ever since we slowly stop contacting each other after the phone call, she distanced herself from A too. Some time later, she she got together with other ppl.
Not so long ago, 1 of my bros told me the same thing happened to him. He always thought that when it comes to brotherhood and love, we should give up the latter. Until, someone more senior than him tells him it's just BULLSHIT. Where love is concerned, it's all fair play. If your brother gets mad at you for going after the same gal as he likes, he isn't that worth a brother to keep in the 1st place. Why bother?
And then, in casual conversations with my female friends, their conclusion is, "You guys are DUMB to have that thinking. Love is not about giving in, it's about fighting for what you want! What if you were the one the gal likes? Do you think she would be happy with A or some other guy she ended up with? DON'T BE A PUSSY! Just go get her!"
After so many years of strong beliefs being passed down for generations, we guys are now slapped in the face with "The Ugly Truth".
If you like the same gal as your bro, go ahead & have a fair competition in going after her. Just as long as you don't use underhand means to get her, it's perfectly fine.
Direct translation = Brothers are like our limbs while women are like clothes.
Losing your limbs & clothes, which one is worse?
Because of this saying that has been passed down for centuries, some/most guys developed a kind of thinking.
"If my brother likes the same gal who I like & if he tells me b4 I do, I shall give up & not go after the gal."
We've seen alot of dramas like these. Boy A & B likes gal. Boy A told B he likes gal. B gave up because of his brotherhood with A. But gal likes B. And sometimes, in the shows, B & gal meet up after sometime. Gal may alrd be married to A or someone else.
B said, "Actually, I'd like you back then."
Gal (in extreme cases, break down in tears), "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
"Because I didn't want to break my friendship with A & I didn't think that you would like me either." B replied.
I'd always tot if I was Boy B, that's really the way I shld handle this. Many years ago, I did the same thing twice. Upon knowing that my buddy likes the same gal as I do, I pulled myself out.
The 2nd case, gal called & asked, "Do you like me?".
"Why did you ask?" was my reply.
"I just want an honest answer." she demanded.
"It doesn't matter but A likes you." I said.
"Forget it." with that, she hanged up on me.
I didn't call back though I'd wanted to explain myself. However, at that point in time, I don't feel the need to. Brotherhood matters.
Many years later, I bumped into the gal. Had a small chat, talked abt the story that happened few years ago. Though we laugh it off in the end, I had to say there was a tinge of sadness. She said, she felt v.pek chey as it was obvious I like her & I was dumb to want to give her up to A just because A is my buddy & A likes her. What upsets her most was I didn't realize she likes me & not A.
She said ever since we slowly stop contacting each other after the phone call, she distanced herself from A too. Some time later, she she got together with other ppl.
Not so long ago, 1 of my bros told me the same thing happened to him. He always thought that when it comes to brotherhood and love, we should give up the latter. Until, someone more senior than him tells him it's just BULLSHIT. Where love is concerned, it's all fair play. If your brother gets mad at you for going after the same gal as he likes, he isn't that worth a brother to keep in the 1st place. Why bother?
And then, in casual conversations with my female friends, their conclusion is, "You guys are DUMB to have that thinking. Love is not about giving in, it's about fighting for what you want! What if you were the one the gal likes? Do you think she would be happy with A or some other guy she ended up with? DON'T BE A PUSSY! Just go get her!"
After so many years of strong beliefs being passed down for generations, we guys are now slapped in the face with "The Ugly Truth".
If you like the same gal as your bro, go ahead & have a fair competition in going after her. Just as long as you don't use underhand means to get her, it's perfectly fine.
I like this song.
Whenever I heard this song, I would be reminded of the so called silly decision I've made years ago. I'm not sure if I wld still make the same move if I could turn back time. But perhaps, if the same thing was to happen again, I might consider giving it a shot. =)
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