I am not ok, but I'm fine on my own. . . I think.

I might become like this soon. . .
I'm sad/emo/heartbroken/watever u can think of to associate with sadness.
In no time, I wld start losing slp & become the sad panda as above.

Many a times, I put on a brave & strong front. Coz I don't want ppl around me to start worrying abt me. Even though my emotions can be read from my face. But I tried very hard to show the rest I am ok. (Contradicting? Yes, I know.)

This time, I can't conceal how I feel or maybe I have no intentions to. Simple because, it really hurts BIG TIME! ='(

When I saw her status on Facebook changed from "Single" to in a r/s & "It's complicated", I duno hw to react. It was like a thousand arrows piercing through my heart, PAIN is the only feeling I had.

I am really not okay.

Seeing Qiqi & hearing her sing (Finally after nearly 3mths!) makes me happy for that few hours at Lunar, but they didn't manage to take the hurt away. In fact, the sad songs sang make me feel worse.

Playing with babies & kids don't cheer me up either. . .

Happy food like Mac has no effects on me anymore.

Drowning myself with alcohol doesn't seem to drown my sorrows, I woke up with hangovers instead. *ouch*

Listening to sad songs & continously checking her facebook to see if the new partner's name popped up, doesn't seem to speed up the process of my tears.

Not being able to cry & unable to shed a single tear is not doing my heart any help at all. I've lost my tears, I might need to call the police. =(

P/S : On a side note, I've nv take note that the beer is spelled as "Hoegaarden" & not "Hoegarden".

However, I managed to get a 2nd movie date with her. Is it consider a date still? I have no idea. I just hope she don't choose to tell me face to face abt her new partner on the day itself.

直到今天，我才发现我真的想做那个陪着你一起老的人。。。=(
Up till today, then I realized I really want to be the one to accompany you till we grow old together. . . =(