*e@g|3 Evolution*

  在這個世界上，很多事我們習以為常。但如果仔細思考，這些標準到底是誰定下的？ 結束一段感情後，釋懷需要多長時間？面對所愛的離世，消沉多久才算合理？對一個人的思念，應該持續到什麼時候才停止？男孩不能哭、男人要堅強 —— 這些說法真的是對的嗎？傷心的時間真的只跟一段感情的長短有關嗎？ 在這裡，我想對所有我曾經說過 “ 時間會沖淡一切 ” 的人道歉。因為我現在明白，時間並不能沖淡任何事，所有經歷都會在生命裡留下痕跡，它們不會消失。 寫下這篇公開的心情日記，我的目的很簡單 —— 給自己一個宣洩的空間，同時也讓關心我的家人朋友了解我沒說出口的感受。也許你會覺得有些娛樂性，或許有經歷過相似事情的人能找到共鳴與安慰，知道自己不是孤單的。最重要的是，我希望我的天使 —— 那位在天堂的她，能收到我的思念。 2024 年 6 月 8 日，我這一生中最愛的女人，我的初戀，永遠地離開了這個世界。當噩耗傳來，我無法相信這是現實。我知道自己無法一個人面對，所以找了多年的好哥們陪我一起去參加悼念。兄弟，謝謝你臨時改變計劃，推遲了與家人的晚餐，陪著我送她最後一程。 接下來的幾天，我風雨無阻地在下班後趕往悼念現場，只為陪她走完人生最後的路。出殯那天，天空下著傾盆大雨，但這雨怎麼也洗不掉我心中的悲傷。看著棺木被推進火化爐，所有人都崩潰了。 家人和朋友給予了我很多慰問，不時關心我的情況，並說著安慰的話。有人說， “ 時間會沖淡一切。 ” 還有人說， “ 不要難過太久，她不希望看到你這樣，有事隨時找我們。 ” 我知道這些話語都是出於善意，但當下真的很刺耳。我沒力氣去反駁，但我依然感激他們的關心和鼓勵。 這 114 天裡，我過得不好，一點都不好。最難受的是，那種想哭卻哭不出來的悲傷。我依然喜歡工作，見到孩子們我也會感到快樂。和家人、朋友聚會，我也真心享受大家的陪伴。但我更喜歡獨處，因為那時候我可以卸下所有防備，讓自己徹底沉浸在悲傷裡。 自從與初戀結束後，我交過兩位女友，也喜歡過幾位女生。但面對初戀的離世，我終於明白了： “ 這一生，除了你，我的心再也容不下其他人。因為你是我最愛的女人，你讓我經歷了愛情裡的所有喜怒哀樂。這一生，遇見你，愛上你，失去你，悼念你，便已無憾。接下來的日子，我只想用餘生去想念你，愛自己，替你你看無數的白雲纏繞著藍天，直到我們重逢的那一天。 ” 失去你是什麼感覺？我反覆問自己...

Stock arrived! 貨到了！ Testimonial from my customer! 顧客的見證！ With every threat, lies an opportunity. I am thankful for all the shoten zenjin (heavenly gods and benevolent deities in Buddhism terms) who appears in my life. When COVID first strikes, a bro approached me and asked if I am interested to promote a product that could help with sterilization of 99.9% of bacteria and viruses which help to prevent COVID. Well, why not? There are people who trusted and bought 10-20 at one go, there are people who do not believe or feel that it is perfectly fine to just contact COVID since everyone is sure to get it sooner or later and there are those who half-believed yet find it expensive. Just as I build a solid base of trusting customers for the products, the distributor in Singapore decided to stop importing this product. An easy way out for me was to just discontinue the sales of this product. However, my customers kept checking with me about when would this product be available ag...

Why Forest School? What is your own philosophy? Every child is unique and is talented in their own way. They deserved the time and space to find out for themselves. Not through endless hours of lessons, piles of homework or never-ending enrichment classes. Let them learn through play and experience things for themselves. 為甚麼選擇森林學校？ 你自我的哲學是甚麼？ 每個孩子都是獨一無二的，都有自己的天賦。 他們應該有時間和空間自己去自我發掘。 不是上無休止的課、做堆積成山的作業或永無止境的輔助課程。 讓他們在玩樂中學習，親身體驗事物。 I dedicate the achievement of this certificate to the following people in no chronological order : Stacy Tung - When you were alive, you inspired me to touch lives with our own lives. With your demise, it inspired me to chase my dreams right now and not wait till the time is right. (My song for you - https://bit.ly/3xAMeKf) Mummy & Qiqi - I could not let you see why I choose to do the things I do. You could not change my mind or stop me from doing what I want to do. Yet, you gave me the support I needed. Shannon & Aleks - Thanks for understanding how...

19/04/22 :- Too much on your plate? 太多東西在你的餐盤上? Do you sometimes feel you have too much on your plate? Everyone seems to want a part of you. A lot of things require your time and attention. You feel like you need to split yourself up or become an octopus. Most of us do. At different points in time. It is not easy. But learn to focus and really do one thing at a time. The most important thing is... Learn to relax and take a break once in awhile. Even if it is just 5mins. 你有時會覺得你的餐盤裡有太多東西嗎？ 每個人似乎都想要你的一部分。 很多事情需要你的時間和關注。 你覺得你需要把自己分裂出來或成為八爪魚。 我們大多數人都有過著感受。 就在不同的時間點。 這並不容易。 但是要學會專注，一次只做一件事。 最重要的是。。。 學會放鬆，偶爾休息一下。 哪怕只是5分鐘。

17/10/21 :- If it is a number game, would you hang on till the end? 若只是個數字遊戲，你會堅持到最後嗎? What if I tell you some of the things in life that you wanted are nothing but number games? If you can see the whole picture, would you be able to emerge as the winner in life? I often get a lot of light bulb moments when I chant. This was another night. This is not a secret or magic. We merely lack the ability to see the whole picture. Thus we do not have the determination and gave up before we reach the end. I think back of my own past. How many times or things did I give up because I did not hang in till the end? I gave up simply too easily. Or maybe, those were not the things I really wanted (that badly)? We set targets on the things we want. Halfway through the process, we felt tired, rejected, hopeless. We could not find the will to carry on. We tell ourselves, this is not working out. Let us just give up and go after something else. If I know, after 99 times: - of approaching a customer for a ...

19/08/21 :- Did you fall in love with the real them or the imaginative them? 你愛上的是真實的他/她們還是你幻想中的他/她們？ The imaginative them does not mean they do not exist, not like that imaginary friend you have. It means the kind of person (usually good) you imagined they are. In real life, they are (actually not as good) just not what you have imagined. 幻想中的他/她們並不是指他/她們不存在，不是你那個只活在你幻想中的朋友。 是指你幻想著他/她們是某一種人 (通常都是好的)。 但現實生活中，他/她們並不是如你想像中一樣 (往往都是沒那麼好)。 Someone asked this question recently. I think this is something worth pondering over. 最近有人問了這個問題。 我覺得還蠻值得深思的。 This happened to alot of people around me. My family and close friends. 這其實在我身邊發生過 - 我的家人與朋友都曾經歷。 I believe there are times you may have said this to someone too. "He/she is not as good as you think they are." As an outsider, there are things we can truly see clearer than the person involved. Yes, on one hand, we can say they are blinded by love. 想必你或許曾經對其他人說過。 “他/她並不是你想像中那麼好。” 身為局外人，我們或許看得比當局者清楚。 是的，或許一方面，我們可以說他/她們被愛迷惑。 Yet, when we are...

  03/07/2021 :- Age is not a determining factor in meeting the one - Soulmate 年齡不是遇見那個人的決定性因素 - 靈魂伴侶 She said, "Though we met each other at this age, we have the feeling that we met our soulmates. Age is not a determining factor in meeting the one. Ivan, good luck and do not give up!" I believe everything happens for a reason. Whoever appears before you is tasked to give you something. She is 60 and he is 67 years old when they met. They have been dating for 5 years for now. Both of them feel they are each other's soulmates. Thanks for the words of wisdom! They truly come at the right time. 她說，“雖然我們這個年紀才遇到彼此，但我們有那種遇到靈魂伴侶的感覺。年齡不是遇見那個人的決定性因素。 家樂，祝你好運也不要放棄！” 我相信每一件事的發生都有它的原因。 出現在你面前的那個人背負給你甚麼的任務。 他們相遇的時候，她 60 歲而他 67 歲。 至今為止，他們已相戀了 5 年。 他們都認定是彼此的靈魂伴侶。 感謝充滿智慧之言！ 他們來得正是時候。

07/06/2021 :- With GREAT power comes GREAT responsibility!  能力越大意味著責任越重！ Every one of us has different roles to play in life. We are our parents' child, our siblings' siblings, our children's parents, a leader or member in our religion, a student or an ex-student from a certain school, etc. Since I was young, I am drilled with the idea that people would blame my parents for it whenever I misbehave. It would make others think that my parents didn't teach me well. As we grow older, we may gain power, authority or position in the areas we are involved. How we behave may be due to our own characters, personal feelings or decision based on our own judgement. Yet, it is inevitable that others who know you as a certain "role", will tend to associate your behavior as that of all those who belong to the same group as you. "Oh, so this is how XX's child is like?" "Oh, so this is the kind of student XX school produced?" "Oh, so this is the wa...

28/02/2021 -  Lim Seng Kiew - In order to build a better thing (you), you need to be willing to tear (break) it down and rebuild it (you) again! 林盛僑 - 為了建造更好的東西（你），你需要願意將其拆解並再次重建（你）！  My dad was "very annoying"! There were many things he did which annoyed me/us when he was alive. However, some of the things he did has left strong learning points for me. One of the things he loved to do was tearing down my toys. Like most kids, I love Lego and other model building toys. Of them, my most valued structure was a roller coaster car track I build and had it in my bedroom for the longest time which I played every night before I sleep. Initially, I build that according to the instructions. However, because my loving Mum bought me more than 1 set of tracks, I build a gigantic track with my own imagination. It was long, so that my cars need to take a longer time to reach the end. (As a kid, I merely want to play longer.) However, my annoying dad tore down my tracks one day. You can ima...

  As the man turns 37, waves of emotions filled his heart. From the last birthday till now, so much things have happened. Though my sister always say I am full of self-praises, they were just jokes. Today, I shall take this opportunity to acknowledge this man for who he is and the difference he has made to those around him. Helpfulness is my middle name and at times, I over do it at my own expenses. To some, they felt I was giving too much of my time, energy and effort. The returns may never outweigh what I have given. However, one thing for sure, my heart is filled. I cannot save all the starfish that are being washed to shore. However, each one I helped to throw back to the sea, my action matters. I have strong beliefs in the things I do.  I thought I was doing good by offering people : - A chance to understand the religion which would lead them to their happiness. - The business opportunity which could bring them the lives they want. - The course which could open up their e...

Do you give up just because others are ahead of you? Or do you take it as a motivation to surpass them and do better? It is not about making comparison with others on who has bigger houses, faster cars or more money? It is doing a check and balance on ourselves. How far away are we from our own goals and dreams? What do you do to get closer to them? There are people who eventually stop making goals or having dreams, because they already tell themselves, "I would never get there, I do not have that kind of destiny." We create our own destinies. Not everyone is born with a golden spoon in our mouths. However, it doesn't mean we would never be able to make big goals and dreams and achieve them. It merely mean we may have to put in more time and effort than those who has a head start before us. Yet, I do know of friends who were born into not just rich, but super duper rich families and yet they own their current success to themselves. They did it with thei...

Compassion, Wisdom, Pure Heart, Sincerity, Trust, Character, Courage When I first got to know of the campaign to contribute Vitamin D to our healthcare professionals, I merely wanted to just contribute 1 bottle on my own. However, it later turns out to be a total of 72 bottles my friends and I managed to contribute to the NCID staff. I reflected on the whole process and asked myself, "What works for me such that I can garner the support of so many people?" That's when I realized it was because of the 7 words above. With the COMPASSION thought of merely wanted to do something for our front line healthcare professionals, it triggers me to seek my friends' contribution. WISDOM  of being able to draft a message that speaks to my friends and touch their compassion department as well to want to contribute. I did it with a PURE HEART with the sole intention of wanting to do my little part in paying back to society. Throughout the messagin...

15/05/2020 - Date like how you want your daughter to be dated. 以你想要你女兒被追求的方式來交往。 Today would be my Dad's 65th Birthday if he is alive. I have been wanting to write this post, so I decide today is a good day to do so. Everyone has their own ways in courtship. As for mine, the basis is imagining the girl you are dating now to be your own daughter in future. How do you like her to be dated? Do you want her to return late at home? Do you like her to be on the phone most of the times? Do you want her personal time with her family and friends to be affected? Do you like that her priorities are mixed up or disrupted? The list goes on... If this is not what you want to see of your daughter, do not let this happens to the girl you are dating now. Simple because, she is also somebody's daughter now. -------------------------------------------------------------------- After being a private hire driver for 10 months, I have heard countless interesting as wel...

Picture Credit : Dearest Sister, Shannon 圖片歸功於 : 親愛的妹妹，慧瑜 FB Page -> https://bit.ly/3889EZH <- 面子書 06/12/19 -  Stay Firm, Trust Your Intentions, Be Committed, Never Give Up! 保持堅定，相信自己的意圖， 做出承諾，永不放棄！ It has been a long time, I am tired. Physically, mentally and mostly emotionally. I an not a rational person, I act upon emotions. Ended up with injuries and bruises all over. Though I know I have to brush up on my communication, it takes time for improvement to take place. Feedback I've received and as the results showed, "Ivan, you are always/easily misunderstood." Yes, it gets frustrating and eventually hurting when others not only do not get what you meant and went to the other extreme. I shared my business, my products and the course I've attended. I shared my business to prep others for their Plan B and the very bad job market that's coming up. I shared my products hoping to improve and maintain people's health. I shared the c...

We had FUN! We filled our tummies!  We sing our hearts out! Have you found the safest place to share your darkest secret? Do you get unconditional support from people around you who always have your back? Are there anyone who cares about your win probably more than you do? Have you found a family outside your blood related one? 你找到了分享你最內心秘密的安全基地嗎？ 你是否有一群毫無條件給予你支持的人總是挺著你？ 有沒有人或許比你更在乎你的勝利？ 你可找到在血緣關係以外的家人？ ********************************************************************** 3 months ago, I do not know what to get out of this. I have always thought I know it all. I was wrong.  Asking for support used to look like a failure to me. I have learnt that it is perfectly fine to do so. Many things in life, we cannot complete them all by ourselves. Why are we depriving others the chance to help us? It was definitely not the easiest journey. However, this has got to be one of the best decisions I have made for my...

22/09/19 :- BE AUTHENTIC! 做真實的自己！ Do you actually have AUTHENTIC and RISKTAKING friends who are willing to be TRUTHFUL and OPEN with you, put TRUST in you that you know whatever they do or say is a way of CARING for you? I am proud to say I have a lot of best friends whom I can pour my hearts to. These friends are those I truly care and hold closely to my heart. However, being a perfectionist in the past and trying very hard to be the Mr Nice Guy, I never had the courage to tell them how I have felt even if I know it is going to help them. My image was at stake and I was not willing to risk it. I am glad after attending a course which I would say is a turning point in my life, I now find the courage to speak truly and openly on what is on my mind such that I can help those around me grow. Tonight (21Sep19), there was a fire burning in me and I have this strong desire to meet a close friend at 2350 and share how I felt about the situation my friend is in. From the bo...

21/05/19 :- In a world where you can be anything, BE KIND! 在一個你甚麼都可以成為的世界裡，選擇善良！ Guys may have strong ego, but we have feelings too. Not all guys are wolves, who are only after your bodies. When we give you our hearts, please treat them with care. You may not want to be the owners, but do not go around breaking them. Many have came to show their care and concern, I'm truly grateful and appreciate your kind words. I am sorry, I couldn't share much on the details. I can only say, I am not ok, but don't worry, I would be fine as time goes by. Whatever that has happened, was just a case of a silly guy misinterpreting all the wrong signals sent. Falling in too fast and too deep. The girl was playing with fire and when she realized the fire was near, the most logical thing to do was to let go and not get her fingers burnt. Absolutely nothing wrong with that, except the guy is left to pick up the broken pieces of his fragile heart which he has given out too so...

Tattoos - A sign of rebelliousness, gangsters, evil, etc. However, is that the truth? Every tattoo tells a story and I know this is not where it would stop. I can only say, if you judge me by my past or from what you think you see, you may not be able to truly appreciate my present nor enjoy the fruits which my future may bring. Are you ready to leave my past behind, walk with me till we reach the end of this journey? 刺青 - 象徵著叛逆，流氓與邪惡，等等。 不過，真是如此嗎？ 每一個刺青都述說一個故事，而我也知道故事不會停在這裡。 我只能說，你若以我的過去或你認為你眼前所看到的來對我下判斷，你就無法真正欣賞我的現在更不用說享用我的未來有可能帶來的果實。 你是否準備好拋開我的過去，與我同行直到旅程的終點？

28/03/19 :- Take the leap, make the change! Do something different! 跨出去，做改變！ 做些不一樣的事！ My command of Chinese has always been better than that of English. I have wrote a couple short stories and more songs than I did for poems. Never have I read poems books and got hooked on them. Now that I have been introduced and got addicted, miracles happened. In a little more than 2 days, I've composed 2 English poems which took me less than 2 hours each to get them pen down. In the past, I used to write better after downing at last a glass of red wine. I reached a plateau when I decided to quit on alcohol. It took me around 6 months to get used to finding inspiration without the aid of alcohol. I used to think and always put myself in an extreme state of sadness to find great inspiration to pen down my thoughts into my stories or songs. Never have I expect the power of absolute happiness gave me more inspiration than I got when I was at the lowest point of sadness. Someti...

Do you know between 30-50% of all cancer cases are preventable? I'm not some cancer research specialist, but merely sharing what I've heard and learnt from others. Valuable knowledge needs to be shared to be useful. Check out WHO website on cancer prevention here ! Recently heard that a high cancer marker friend has started taking these 3 products and her cancer market dropped significantly when she went back for her doc review. Initially, she was supposed to go for womb removal surgery and now she can be spared of it. I got interested to know more about these 3 products because my dad passed away because of cancer and we all know cancer is one of the top killers in Singapore. I have a lot of dreams and many people to take care of and definitely is not willing to be hit by cancer, thus prevention is always better than cure. Ever since I've heard what my friend mentioned and through my own research on what individual product can do to help, I've been takin...